Blar

Survived Easter.
This means, staying up until 3 am on Saturday with my dad and aunt and uncle drinking mulled wine and eating roast potatoes. Then getting up Sunday morning, going to the obligatory mass, skipping home with my cousin Beth in the unseasonal SNOW that fell here yesterday morning and melted by 1pm, kicking off the Easter ho-down with a champagne toast and mountains of super rich food. Good God. My aunt Jenny, who's a teacher on the island Guernsey, showed up on Friday afternoon and didn't stop cooking until around 6 last night.
In montage: corks all over the dining room floor from 3 different types of bottle, many versions of each, snowballs with my 6 year old cousin George, finding out that an old sweetheart is getting married in a couple months, rolling cigarettes for my dad, drinking for the first time in almost a year, my uncle John's lips totally purple from Claret and rhaspodizing crudely about anything, my cousin Beth's 4 month old baby Dominic lying on my belly, and me on the floor, catching his drool and making him smile (babies are rad), George and his sister Pippa teaching me karate, talking to this amazing woman Marlene about her home in South Africa, clouds of gorgeous smelling hash smoke filling the house, hours of playing Jenga..
I've been pretty fuckin sober since the end of last April. I drank more this weekend (3 glasses) than I have all year...learning that there is more to be learned in observation that introspection.
Is an addict someone who can't change their perspective on drink/ drugs? I don't know if I am an addict. More likely, someone with very low tolerance. I used to have no self control with booze, but this weekend showed me that I am getting better at that.
This was the first time all year that I felt like I had reason to drink. Twelve people I love gathered around a table for a "high feast" in their tradition, it felt fitting and good.
Beth rocked my world this weekend. She has matured so much in the last couple years. "having a baby will do that" my uncles say when I comment, and I tongue the baby tooth that, despite being almost 23 still hangs out in my mouth like its '93. She is an amazing mum and a fun girl and her heart is as big as Atlanta, and in just the right place.